How can I be around my AH at all (we are separated and on the fast track to divorce path) when anything I do results in snide remarks from him IN FRONT OF OUR KIDS.
Anything I do other than coddle him, tell him I forgive him and will give him more chances etc... results in NASTY behavior.
And when I say it's not okay and tell him to stop he launches verbal crap at me and makes accusations in front of our kids that I feel compelled to respond to so that they don't believe that what he says is true.
Today was a nightmare.
I told him I had taken steps like talking to a realtor about selling our house, asked what he wanted to do about the house if he didn't like my suggestion, told him we needed to talk about finances (bc he doesn't want to involve lawyers) and bc I brough this up it got me nasty behavior that was unrelated to anything we were talking about.
Accusations:
- I am trying to micromanage his life
- I am abusive and controlling
- I have no idea what normal honesty in a relationship is about and that his lying by ommission or lying about things he has done (like drinking, stealing money from our family, etc..) aren't really that bad... "it's not as though I've cheated on you or am a drug user and you really need to get a handle on yourself" (was the exact quote)...
- repeatedly told me that I am making it impossible for him to recover bc I am behaving in ways that make it impossible for him to do so..
I know intellectually that when I change the rules of the game by changing my behavior he is bound to react poorly-- but I did not think it would be this bad...
I really thought that he'd take his recovery seriously (as he claims he "wants" to-- if I had a dollar for all the things he "wants" to do but never does I'd be a billiionaire) and we'd never be at this point-- and I also thought that if we reached this point, that whatever love we'd had when we began would mean that he wouldn't try and HURT me as much as possible... I never saw this side of him and never imagined he'd be so mean...
