Great Grocery Shopping.
I have to celebrate. He called and text-ed and I didnt respond to any of it! I jumped on SR and preoccupied myself with some good ole research. Then I went grocery shopping and it was AMAZING. No arguing about food. No guilt about money. NO FEEDING SOMEONE ELSE ON MY PITIFUL BUDGET! I had fun singing to myself in the strawberries. I didn't have to cringe near the beer section.
I realized something amazing...I have SUCH potential to be happy. My XAB does not(as of now). He's probably miserable right now sober or drunk, and if I stayed with him, I would definitely be.
Also, just because I've been through this once, doesn't mean I have to do it again! I can put out the work on myself outside of a relationship and steer clear of any red flags! I think because I've gone through it, that I'll never go through it again honestly. That may be naive thinking, but it empowers me!
Thanks for the wonderful advice, support, and testimonies. Its only been a week away from my XAB, but I would not be able to claim that victory if not for this site!