DO you work your own program..go to alanon?It can help you set boundaries and focus on yourself...I don't htink your situation in uncommon..recovery isn't a magic pill..resentments are still there.the person isn't who we thought they would be sober..the behaviors have remained..is your husband working a program?Isolating is a huge red flag for relapse..is he following his after care treatment..if not.everything is going to look really the same because although the substance has been removed, the behaviors can stay..