My experience with sobriety is that I had alot of fantasies about what it would look like..not everything magically gets better once a person stops using and is working a program..I had alot of feelings of anger and resentment come up during my daughters rehab/early recovery..she didn't sponateously turn into the person I THOUGHT she was going to be once the substance had been removed..the reality is a whole let messier and more hard work than one imagines..
As for Alanon..if it weren't structured that way it would be at the level of the problem (venting, storytelling,etc)..Instead it is at the level of the solution (giving you tools to use, keeping the focus on ourselves,etc)Venting has its place and pretty much anyone there would be happy to listen after the mtg..I urge you to give it several more tries..has worked miracles in my family..