putmeontheair

I hate to say it, but I agree with Lexie here.

I love my husband ... I do. But the hurt from the lies, the manipulation, etc., from the last three years ... they are hard to overcome. He was an alcoholic when we met and I was so invested in making the relationship work regardless of the pain inflicted upon me that I didn't take care of myself. I am now suffering.

My husband got out of rehab a few days ago (see above post) and it's going to be a long road. I hope we make it, I do. I love him, I do. But if I knew then what I know now? I would've walked until he had gotten help/worked the program. If it's supposed to be, things will work out. If not, you'll find someone who can help take care of you while taking care of themselves ... you won't have to take care of them (and the bills, the kids, the dogs, the cooking, the house, etc.). It will be a more normal and healthy relationship where you work things out and communicate. On my wedding day six months ago, I didn't think I'd be here. Again, if I knew then what I know now ...

ETA: This quote right here ...

"I said that it would be fine if he didn't drink to get drunk (which he has since done three times that I know of)."

I did this. "Only drink a few a night, etc." Regardless of the promises he makes, he will most likely break them. It will be a lot of heartache. He needs to get into treatment. Alcoholics only drink to get drunk ... their problem isn't beer in general, it's the first beer or the first drop of whatever his drink of choice is. He needs to not have that first drink.