Yes on all points...! thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and I will be seeking out some advice on contact issues...
It's really so surreal to find the person you thought you knew and loved has become, through his anger, blame, abuse and alcoholism, a complete stranger, unrecognizable in every respect but the physical (although even that is shifting with substance abuse)... and who seems completely unable to recognize you for who you have been to him, unable to recognize what you have/had together, what you've built together, what hangs in the balance now. It brings up a full sweep of emotions. It's crushing.
I hope he gave them a flattering shot of me for the posters. In the meantime, I will be donning my Groucho Marx glasses-nose-mustache disguise before heading to the grocery store. Just in case.