Have you had any sort of counseling to unpack the issues surrounding your father's death and your childhood? Because you were so young when it happened, you probably didn't have enough tools in your kit to really process it all.
CC, Nope, Just dealt with it with the family. We all moved on. I feel sorry for him now. He has no legacy. Us kids just knew him as an abusive drunk. I do relate my experience with others when the topic is brought up at meetings. Like you said I realize a burden is painful but when its lifted is a relief. So, no need to feel guilty or wrong for feeling naturally relieved. TY