Suki, again I am amazed at how fitting your tagline is - the quote from the Eagles...
Took me a few tries before I accepted things as they were. Took quite a few people telling me my husband was an alcoholic before I could accept it. Accepting meant dealing with it and I wasn't ready for close to a year. I knew, but I didn't know, because I didn't want to know, but I knew...you all here know the drill.
Pandora, good luck to you. There are many resources available to you when and if you are ready...you know where to find them...
~T