Old 03-19-2011, 08:02 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
pandora999
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20
thank you for your responses.

suki you are perfectly right, i am not ready right now to leave. i do appreciate your concern and i know that you are trying to spare me the suffering that you have gone through. but i can't leave him. not now. things may change in the future to make me reconsider but right now the good far outweighs the bad. and for me that means something.

zrx: my boyfriend can go out with me to social events, friends' houses, have friends over to us, and drink 'normally'. he does this quite often. but then he makes a decision (and he has told me this) that he just wants to get drunk. and so he does. he has also gone out on his own without me (not often, only if i decide not to go out because i'm tired etc) and come back after a couple of beers. THIS is the part that baffles me.

because say, the 3rd or 4th or 5th time... he will get absolutely smashed to the point where he has to practically be carried home. he can decide at will whether he wants to get drunk or not. he can also hang out with certain friends playing magic the gathering all day long and not drinking even so much as a drop of beer.

i know this: out of every single person i know, ours is hands down the happiest relationship. our single friends say how they hope to find a relationship as good as ours, our friends with partners comment on how they wish they were as happy as we are. situations aren't always completely black and white.

some of the 'friends' he hangs out with drink even more than he does and i am worried about their influence. it can simply be a matter of who he is hanging out with as to how much he will drink. you know, pressure, 'go on, have one more' etc. i despise these so-called 'friends'. there is one in particular that i have banned from ever setting foot in our house again. and one more that i avoid contact with as much as possible.

i am learning how to detach myself from his drinking.. yesterday i went on a long hike to clear my head and told myself.. no matter what happens, i am going to be alright.
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