I know how you're feeling and I feel very similarly right now. It's hard to see the person you gave so much to and wish things could have been different with, acting as if the demise of the relationship doesn't phase them at all.
My AH is acting as if our being separated is a big joke. He is being meaner than ever and like you, I wish someone would set him straight...
I am trying to remind myself and accept that no one can get him to hit bottom or take life seriously except for him. It's really heartwrenching to admit this to myself and it sounds like you're in a really similar place.
I'm sorry you're hurting too... Hang in there...