Thanks Leise. I do suppose in some way I am afraid of being around new people because I am afraid of having to start over and let myself feel again. Letting yourself fall in love again is scary after you've felt so violated in the past. Alcoholics do a good job of turning the love that you have for them and twisting into something sick and betraying. So sick that your idea of love and relationships is warped. Day by day I am trying to love myself again so that one day hopefully I can love someone who deserves me and the love I have to give.