Thread: greiving?
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Old 03-19-2011, 02:54 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
passionfruit
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 283
You are feeling abandoned

There are 5 stages to abandonment just like grieving.

When you recognize what you are going through and why, it may help you heal sooner/better/easier...

I am reading "The Journey from Abandonment to Healing" by Susan Anderson

The five stages are:

Shattering
Withdrawal
Internalizing the Rejection
Rage
Lifting

The book suggest the following action plan:
1. Step outside your usual experience: New interests......
2. Initiate new contacts: new people
3. Come clean: share your feelings with someone, including how you contributed to the failure of the relationship.
4. Incorporate your alter ego into your ego: become your higher self: set new standards for yourself and new expectations for relationships to come.
5. Share your higher self with others: avoid those who might tempt you to revert to old patterns


It is worth a read.

In the last week, I have made the decision to permanently break from my AH. My first thought was I don't need alanon anymore.

This morning I got up and found myself trying to change my nephew and my daughter again. I realized I am not done yet. I will stay with alanon. When I am years past this, I will stay around to help those who need it, in exchange for the help I was given.

Had alanon and SR not been there, I would not be here either, I think.
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