I feel hopeless and need some help...please!
I'm a 50 yr old guy that has battled drug and alcohol addiction most of my life. It ended my marriage of 15 yrs., and you have all heard the rest. I have a 14 yr old daughter and a 12 yr old son that are my whole world. Opiates have long been my drug of choice.
I got on Suboxone about 3 yrs ago and did pretty well for the first couple of years. Then, I started using more than prescribed and would run out before I got my new script. As a result, I would score something else to get me through. I also suffer from depression and spend any time I can sleeping. My son spends most of his time with me and that is the only time i can motivate to do anything. I haven't worked in over 5 yrs. and have lived off my parents. I hate and am ashamed of myself. I have been through lots of therapy and treatment nad am starting to feel hopeless.
Many of you would say, "man up and go to work....be responsible." I wish I could. My kid's really need me and I don't want to check out on them. I'm on my way to pick up my last 10 Suboxone in this script and I am going to be, once again, about 12 days short. I will try to put my settings so I can recieve email from ANYONE who can lend some hope!