Originally Posted by dancingnow

Met with a good friend of mine today and she made me realize that I really haven't been dealing with what is. Even though I can now support myself and AH is no longer living with us and kids are fine with most of it, I still approach some of my decisionmaking as if AH is going to be responsible about his disease and available to me and our family and this is just not true.

I have made some major changes in my life in the last year - going back to work after being SAHM for over 10 years, getting AH to leave the house, working on really working alanon program, reaching out to others for ESH, rebuilding a sense of family with my kids.

It seems the next step for me is to realize that I am on my own with my family and AH is not available and may never be available and what I do or don't do should not be based on expecting him to be part of it. Maybe this will help clear my head even more and help me determine if I truly want to be with AH.

Thanks everyone for your input as I progress step by step.