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Old 03-18-2011, 08:51 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
DMC
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 302
My EXH wasn't an alcoholic when I married him. (He'd never even had a drink when we started dating.) He was my best friend, my high school sweetheart. Someone I thought I knew better than myself.

I hung on for 10 years. I knew there were problems, I sought marriage counseling, tried lots of different things.

But I didn't find this place until about year 9. I found al-anon around year 6. It helped me "hang on" as it were.

I needed to know I'd done everything within my power. I know that now.
I don't know if I would have listened to myself when I was in the throes of planning a wedding, though. (Even though he wasn't drinking heavily then) I never would have believed how awful it would get.

I don't know the answer for you.
I wouldn't put myself through that hell again, but then again, I didn't know how bad it was going to be.

I am finally free. It only cost me 10 years of my life and over $110,000. More if you count his booze... that's just the alimony and the lawyer's fees.

Hugs and good luck.
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