Smallsteps and Cyranoak are right.
Alanon would help you tremendously if you are open to it.
You are clearly not ready to walk away. You have begun to question yourself already. Your game has already begun.
You may not be married yet, but you're already in full swing with an A. There are plenty of women on here with boyfriends who are A's. It is no easier for them than for those of us who screwed up and married them.
I have no children with my A. Seems like a divorce would be quite easy. He is not going to have that at this point. When I break it off for good, it will be ugly.
The deeper you go in the rabbit hole, the harder it is to extract yourself from it. That is common sense and you already know it.
So run, don't walk to alanon, and watch in amazement at the change in you!!