Ah, thank you so much for that, "it's better to come from a broken home than to live in one". But I know that when they get old enough to question him, and I'm not his mental-punching-bag any more, he will use my children and will blame them the way he blames me. I shudder at the thought. I do know that I need to be healed by the time that happens, so I can support them through it.
Thanks you both, oh please, guys keep it coming. You don't know how long I've been told I'm the crazy one and how it stuck to me even as I fought against it.
Btw, I'm not sure everyone has the same Al-Anon experience I did when I went to a meeting. The women were so caring, but living in absolute misery. They were all still with their AHs. I couldn't fight the frustration, and really downright anger. I left because I didn't want to hurt them with it. But my thought is.. don't tell me how to live with it, tell me to run. I'm 39. Me and my kids could still have a life. Maybe a different group?