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Old 03-18-2011, 11:24 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
HeyImme
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 74
I am married to an alcoholic in that highly functioning phase where it really only affects him (and me, if I allow it to). He only drinks after the kids are in bed...they are completely unaware. I am hanging on for several different reasons, but I want to make clear that those reasons are ALL ABOUT ME AND MY KIDS. Not about him or any aspirations for future recovery. I am staying as long as it benefits me and my children, and when that changes, I will make a different decision. This is not to say that I am completely hopeless or even that I don't love him...I DO love him, but I am also of the mind that love is a choice. I know many will disagree with me, but I can choose to quit loving and or showing him love any time I want to...I am not powerless over my own emotions or feelings. At some point, I made the decision that he was worth loving and at any time I can decide otherwise. Now, my husband was not an alcoholic when we married or even when we began having children. I cannot go so far to say that I wish I hadn't married him. I made a decision based on the information I had at that time, and I have gotten two awesome kids out of this...I am unable to say I wish they hadn't happened. However, if I had known he was an alcoholic before marrying him, I would not have married him. If I had discovered it before we had children, I wouldn't have had children with him. Run away...you will never regret it!
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