Is anyone here trying to hang on?
Hi,
Mostly a lurker here, but I am so greatful to have found this group, and really appreciate everything I have read. It's nice to not feel so alone.
I haven't posted because most of the posts I have read are from people who are in a place that I haven't made it to, and right now, don't want to be.
I am engaged to be married in April. This should be such a happy time in my life, but there is a black cloud overhead. I know that if we don't make it, it will be be because of his drinking.
A few weeks ago, we had a very bad weekend, and I told him I would leave if he didn't do something. He went to a clinic and was prescribed Campral. He takes it when I give it to him. I know he isn't really ready or willing to give this up. I also know that he is drinking again, not the 6-12 nightly that he was having, but one or two a couple of times a week. He was hiding and lying about it, but I said last night that the hiding and lying were worse than anything else.
I am so afraid that soon I will hear, as I heard before, that he is able and willing to "drink responsibily" and for awhile he will. After a year together, along with a DWI, nights where I slept in the driveway in my car, and weeks where I dreaded the weekend because I knew what was coming, I know posting this might get me flogged with questions of "Why would I want to stay? Why would I think going through with the wedding would be a good idea".
Is anyone there hanging on, trying to be supportive, trying to have better days, and just trying to enjoy the good times? I know I can't change him, I know I didn't cause this. But I really do love him too much to leave?