My bf is addicted to alcohol, I am confused
(English is not my native language, and I ll try my best)
It s been less than a month we are together. I am really concerned. Don t know how to deal with it and I m a bit worried about co-addiction...
My bf drinks a lot. He drinks as soon as he wakes up, when he comes back home from work, I even think last night he woke up to have a drink.
He once asked me if I have a problem with him having a drink. I told him "It s not a problem for ME". When he asked me if I believe it is a problem for HIM, I looked at him and he said "I m depressed, that s why I drink".
The thing is that when he is drinking, he s more excited, more fun, you know how it goes. When he is sober, I feel as if he is not that into me.
Sometimes (once in 20-30 days that is) he will do soft drugs, as he says. I ve never witnessed it though.
As I m writing you this, I m thinking "why am I with him? It s only a month afterall, I don t feel much about him".
The truth is that on one hand I feel that I don t need this and I don t want to be part of this and I should leave this relationship. On the other hand, I have this will to do something about him and go through it with him and be sure he is fine.
I have in mind I don t want "to save anyone". That is his choice afterall.
When I go to his place and he asks me to get a couple of beers, I refuse to contribute to this. I just bring food or a movie etc.--
Can we ever develop a normal relationship?
Is it possible he s going through a phase that will pass eventually? Is it worth it to be patient about it?
Am I in danger of becoming addicted in alcohol? Statistically I mean, is it that people who are in a relationship with a person who s addicted to alcohol, tend to be addicted too?
Could it be possible that I encourage him to drink? I mean, if I find him more fun and he wants me when he is drunk, then maybe - even if I don t say it- maybe unconciously I want him to drink, and he drinks?