Originally Posted by
firstmate 
Jenny ... I am new here, but felt quite moved by your story. I am so disallusioned by my relationship with my BF. When he was drinking, I was unhappy. Now, he is not drinking (< 1 month), and I am still unhappy. I seem to be all-consumed with thinking about how I want him and our relationship to be; but it has not been good for a long time now. Why do I stay?
Fantasy thinking. We all ROCK at it.
We are more comfortable being consumed by the fantasy - by the "how it COULD be" - by the worrying over how to MAKE it be - than the reality.
I continue to work on REALLY LOOKING at what I have RIGHT NOW. How is he being RIGHT NOW? What are his priorities RIGHT NOW? How is he treating me RIGHT NOW? Not in the fantasy future when he shapes up, but now?
It helps.
peace