Thanks for your replies. I tried to set the boundary about being sober a few months ago. He got so upset with me about giving him ultimatums, that he started dating other 'high-risk' women. Then he hit bottom, came back and begged me to give him a second chance. He was sweet, loving, affectionate, needy. So I gave him the second chance and he has now been sober for ~ 1 month. But, now he is not sweet, loving, afffectionate anymore. It is like he doesn't like me when he is sober and I am not sure if he even wants to continue out relationship. I am so upset that I was resolved to move on, until he begged me for another chance. Now, I am back in that vicious cyle and am all-consumed with thinking of him and wanting him. Help!