Life after Alcoholism
A bit of the story first for any of the many new names I see on the forum,
( I haven't been here much for a few weeks and it saddens me to see so many new names and know that so many people are struggling with this disease, but in other ways I'm glad the new names found their way here)
My brother died just over two years ago, from alcohol related diseases, he was 38 and left an 11 year old son (Joe) who's Mum had died 18 months previously from cancer (although she was also alcoholic)
Joe now lives with me and my two sons.
A few weeks ago we finally completed the sale of my brothers house, it was a long drawn out process for a few reasons, mainly my solicitor cousin trying to outdo his business partner in a power struggle and losing out big time (he was completely in the wrong, left a lot of clients high and dry and we no longer have any kind of contact!) But finally it's sold, and the house is living again, I see it every day and there are changes all the time. Scaffold had gone up today I presume for roof work that needs doing. I wasn't sure but I love to see the life in the house now, two little girls skipping down the path to go to school the other day made me smile, and I hear theres another on the way! The house needs life, but I do miss going there at night for no other reason than to sit on the stairs and chat away to my brother!
I don't miss the stress of looking after it though! I didn't realise how much time of mine it took until I didn't have to do it.
But back to life after alcoholism, I do miss my brother, but life is great.
I have learned so much from SR that I now know how to live! And I mean really live.
I can see my life coming back to me!
And I know from SR that it's not really 'coming back' it's me reclaiming it for myself!
I find time for me now, I never did up to a few weeks ago, I knew I 'should have' but I just didn't do it.
I so wish I had, but yanno, if wishes were horses the devil would ride (thanks Nan, I know what you meant now!)
I'm a single mum to three teenage boys, life's busy, but i now find time to wax my bits, get my nails done, clean the skirting boards, reconnect with my old friends (and yes! they're still there!) meet new friends, have time for my family and do what I want to do.
I'm not saying I'm happy my brother is gone, none of us are, his death devastated us all. But even Joe is getting on with life, having fun and living it for him! (sometimes a little too much 'for him', but he's a teenager!)
I think we've all learned from past events. I know I have, I just didn't realise just how much I learned and how strong I was until a few weeks ago.
Life goes on, and it's good.
I miss him every minute of every day, but I've realised I'm still alive, very much so.