My A is my sons father and i love him very much. we have been seperated for 2 months now with no sign of him caring at all, except that he "says" he does... we will have been together 4 years this month, seperated many times but this is the longest and seems to be the time it stays that way. he is a great father, uncle, freind and always most respectful to others. But he is alcoholic, he works but can never pay his share of the bills, he never stays out all night but sits home drinks, watches tv, passes out. When he is not working he keeps the house, we have a good time together, and enjoy each others company, but he is alcoholic, which means on the weekends not really into doing much with me as a loving couple should as in fun activities together that are HEALTHY. i like to drink, but how can i when he's an alcoholic?
I am very sad, and not sure of anything, i want to be a family, i do love him and i am very scared for him, i dont want him to die. His father was the same and died in early 50's of heart attack, he is headed down the same road and my son will not have a father when he is 20. so naturally i am also sacred my son to, will go down the same road.
i truly believe he is sick and needs help, that he cannot get better by himself, but nothing i have done has any affect on him. i know he has to want to, but what if that never happens? What can i do to make him want to, i don't get it, why doesn't he care? his father died, his son and i left, but still nothing....he has car never had a DUI, never been arrested or fired or anything major, it seems his rock bottom is far far away and may never come.
I feel like it is hopeless and i will be waiting forever, i havent done Al-anon yet, somehow i always find a reason not to go. But really i know it is because i will bawl uncontrolably.
Please tell me what has worked for you, have you tried to help with no success? anything that has worked to get your A to the help they need.? Is there ANYTHING i can do?
It is definantly a roller coaster, one day i want nothing to do with him the next i want to see him, hug him, spend time with him. But still so sad that i seem to care more then him.
Thank you for anything,
Completely Hopeless