The reality is, your "little girl" isn't so little anymore, and there's nothing much you can do to force her to "figure things out for herself", aside from yanking what funding you are putting towards her schooling. Right now, because of her past academic successes, she's got a "free pass" to school, but if she keeps up her partying, she'll get kicked out. At that point, it'll be up to you and your husband to decide how much you'll keep enabling her.