Thank you so much for posting today.
I've been thinking a lot about my marriage over the last couple of months.
My AH didn't start having problems with alcohol until we'd been married over 20 years. I didn't sign on for it. I didn't expect it. And, I figured AH isn't stupid. He'll put this aside when he's ready. Clearly I didn't understand alcoholism.
Lately, I've wondered about what might have been as I try to figure out where to go from here. I've considered how our life used to be. We had long, long honeymoon--decades. I adored the ground he walked on. I thought he hung the moon as the song says. We shared everything. We talked about everything. Now I realize that I was totally wrapped up in this man. I didn't know what I wanted because all I wanted was to be with him. That's not healthy.
But, so he could have a break and heal from his depression (I know), I went to work. I fell into a career and loved it. And, I grew up. The blinders started to come off. I should have left. I almost did. I didn't because I had lot on my plate at the time. I felt I couldn't handle one more change. He got me with crocodile tears. He wasn't crazy and delusional YET.
Jenny, you are a smart cookie. Stay that way. You go girl and make a wonderful new story.