Hi, and
We all can understand your love of your partner, your feelings of frustration, helplessness, and your searching for an answer.
Unfortunately, alcoholism is a challenging, wiley foe.
Remember the 3 c's
You can not control his drinking or anything else about HIM.
You can not change the situation or anything else in HIM.
You can not cure him...but you can work on you.
That seems like nonesense, at this point, I'm sure. But trust me. There is hope in this situation. It comes from learning to make peace with his choices (drinking to excess, lying, hiding it) and making choices for yourself that support YOUR wellbeing.
Do you really want to "make" him change, anyway? Don't you want him to change independent of you?
On the main freinds and family page there are many "stickies" at the top - threads that stay all the time. Start reading your head off!
Consider picking up a copy of Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. It really helped me.
Consider attending an Alanon group. I am in a VERY REMOTE place with no meeting for MILES, but you might be somewhere where a group is meeting. It is SO encouraging to meet with others whose stories are like yours and will support you.
Regardless, WE'LL support you. So there's what I would suggest to do. I know it doesn't seem to touch HIS issues, but the truth is, he's choosing who HE wants to be. You get to work on you.
