"All aboard !!!!!! ha,ha,ha," (Ozzy ref) the Crazy Train we call alcoholism.
"Charlie stole the handle and the train won't stop going-no way to slow down" (Tull ref)
We are just passengers of this train wreck. We don't have to be, but most of us choose to.
Your situation is a carbon copy of mine to the "T" almost. I still get angy at times. Its getting better the more I understand. I got a long way to go till I know really how to take care of myself, so I can jump off this train !
Whats helping me is seeking more knowledge. This board is a great help.
Take care of yourself and the rest will follow.
Again, Welcome Aboard.