Originally Posted by
FindingPeace1 
I think that's why gaslighting works on me. I am so busy trying to REALLY LISTEN to my AH and CONSIDER what he's saying and CHANGE for him and MAKE SPACE for him and QUESTION MY motives that when someone isn't honest, I am trying so hard to give THEM the benefit of the doubt and see it from their perspective that I become a tangled mess. Particularly if the liar is kind and suffering and trying to be good and "not doing it on purpose". That eats at me.
Mannn... that is so me. Giving people the benefit of the doubt, trying to see it from their perspective. I even convince myself that I'm better than them and I'm not going to express my "angry" feelings because I'm so in control of myself and they're not. What a joke on me. Then I sit there full of the I should said this or I should have done that or the next time I'll do... Then I'm soul-searching and analyzing me and they're off fine and dandy living their life and in my AH case having his next drink while I'm fighting off a migraine. But I've realized I do it to myself so its up to me to stop it; time to get off the emotional roller coaster and run out the theme park.
