Cyranoak

...I've said a million times that if she relapsed again I would leave her forever. I've only left her once, it was several years ago, and I let her come home two years later. Since then, I've said thousands of times that if she relapsed I'd leave her forever. I didn't.

Now she's 8 months sober and I'm starting to have hope. If she relapses I'll be crushed. I won't die, my life won't be over, but I'll be crushed. Will I leave? I hope so. Will I leave? Probably not.

Now, having said all of that, if I could magically go back to the beginning when I met her and not start our relationship I'd do it immediately and I wouldn't think twice about it. I REGRET HAVING GONE THROUGH IT TO BEGIN WITH.

If there were such a thing as a do-over I'd do it over in an instant and I'd stay with the woman I broke up with to date my wife. Incidentally, I dumped her because she was smart, independent, healthy, and didn't need me. She loved me, wanted to stay with me, but didn't need me so I dumped her the moment a needy single mom came along who showed an interest in me. Jackpot!!!

The lesson, as always, is that I'm an idiot.

Cyranoak