I think I am reading this section differently than everyone else.
I want to clarify my earlier statement to make sure it is understood.
Originally Posted by
GettingBy 
My AH tells me all the time that I am blaming the drinking because it's an easy scapegoat. It's true there are more problems than just the drinking, but I feel that until the drinking (and all the other irresponsible behavior that goes with it!) goes away - we can't even begin to deal with the other crap.
Am I off base here?
Abuse is a separate issue from alcoholism. His reactions to things are a separate issue than the alcoholism. Stopping the drinking will not make everything go away - and it sounds like you realize that.
He cannot address any issues - his behavior, the abuse, anything - until the drinking stops, because it is affecting and controlling his brain and his thought process too much.
That said, most abusive men get worse when they stop drinking, so expecting things to "get better" - even acknowledging that they won't be fixed - will probably still be a set up for failure and disappointment. Also, "All the irresponsible behavior that goes with it!" might not have anything to do with the drinking at all.
Now is a good time to start figuring out your next steps.