I've been looking closely at the type of people I attract...and realizing it is ME, as long as I allow those type of people to bully and /or try to control me. I just had a meeting with one of my greatest friends, not because we do the stereotypical friend things, but because she is just a great person and I admire her very much. Why? Because she is emotionally healthy and available with firm boundaries and ethics. She walks her talk. She challenges my thinking without trying to control my thoughts. She respects me. She would never ask more than she is prepared to give in return. That's the difference.
As I look at my other relationships, I can see where I have become involved with unhealthy people - in my case it tends to be people who don't respect boundaries and I am working on weeding them out. They don't like this very much (see my people-pleasers post). I've been called rude, inconsiderate, uncaring, and worse. My thought today? Oh well. Bye-bye. My real friends will rise to the top once I clear out the rest of what is now just taking up space. And this includes family members as well. No where can I find a law that says I have to have relationships with members of my family. Those who are toxic will have to go.