You can leave a relationship for any reason, you know? Even the fact that he leaves the cap of the toothpaste. You don't need his permission to leave. And he is free to leave the relationship if your requests to be an active partner and parent who doesn't resort to physical violence don't work for him.
GettingBy, the drinking is a red herring for you. It almost always is. It may not be for him in that his life would be less chaotic if he stopped drinking and got into recovery, but for you it has to be all about the behavior.