First of all,
Jenny, WELCOME to sober recovery. This site helped me dis-engage from the addict front and center in my life one year ago. Although I do - like us all I guess - still struggle with things, I am a changed woman, and have my self and my life back.
Let me, if I may, respond to two items in the orginal post
Originally Posted by
jenny69 
My last relationship was filled with deception and now it triggers something very compulsive in me when people tell me things that don't feel right.
How have other people created boundaries with someone who has only been kind and caring?
Pay attention to these triggers. I would say that the compulsion you feel is your struggle between what you body is telling you, and what you
wish to be true.
Us humans are made to have instinctive reactions when something is "not right".
We also, I believe, get re-wired and sometimes react even when everything
is right, based on our bad experiences. But...by and large I think you need to listen to your gut.
This stuff will make you crazy.
Someone who has only been kind and caring does not lie to a person they love and respect.
I know that the disease of addiction turns us into liars - I get why and all that - but that doesn't change the fact that it is simply
not "kind and caring".
Perhaps something to rethink?