Originally Posted by
nodaybut2day 
Gaslighting for me:
Convincing me that I don't remember specific events and arguments correctly, by lying or manipulating or even threatening
or
Constantly telling me I was crazy
or
Trying to convince me that I was lying or had hidden secrets even I had forgotten
It eventually lead me to seriously doubt my own memories, and thus my sense of self-esteem...which in turn seriously undermined any desire or effort to leave the relationship. I thought I was worthless, broken and that I *needed* him to fix me, to tolerate me and to love me.
Ok I get it. I don't think I had a lot of that going on...what little that did happen, I believe it was because he couldn't remember stuff very well. He did call me crazy quite a bit, but I have come to realize there was a point when I am sure I acted pretty crazy. Alcoholism does that to us spouses sometimes. I do think now that the initial 'calling me an alcoholic because I drank so much' BS he might have truly believed, given that he couldn't accept the fact that he had drank that much just the day before, so he thought I drank a lot, too. Nope, I still drink the same amount today as I have over the last decade. It was definitely him!