Originally Posted by
Tuffgirl 
DestinyM,
Thanks for posting a good read. Let me see if I understand "gaslighting":
Me: I bought a house today
RAH: What? I have a perfectly good house for you right here.
Me: I already told you this house is A.) too small for all of us, and I have no space for me and B.) is YOURS, not ours
RAH: We talked about buying a house together this coming summer. You agreed to that timeline.
Me: Yes, until alcoholism and recovery came into the picture. And because I didn't feel I had a choice not to agree last summer.
RAH: Well its a good thing you bought your own house because I don't see how we can live together anyway, given I don't trust you anymore because you left me.
Me (before Al-Anon + SR), feeling guilty and wrong somehow, doubting my actions and decisions
Me (now): I am sorry you feel that way (outloud) F*** Off (in my head)
So, gaslighting is similar to what we refer to here as quacking?
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim with the intent of making them doubt their own memory and perception. It may simply be the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, or it could be the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim. Gaslighting had a colloquial origin explained below, but the term has also been used in clinical and research literature.[1][2]
The term derives from the 1938 stage play Gas Light (originally known as Angel Street in the United States), and the 1940 and 1944 film adaptations. The plot concerns a husband who attempts to drive his wife to insanity by manipulating small elements of their environment, and insisting that she is mistaken or misremembering when she points out these changes. The title stems from the husband's subtle dimming of the house's gas lights, which she accurately notices and which the husband insists she's imagining.
Gaslighting has been used colloquially since at least the late 1970s to describe efforts to manipulate someone's sense of reality. In a 1980 book on child sex abuse, Florence Rush summarized George Cukor's 1944 film version of Gas Light, and writes, "even today the word [gaslight] is used to describe an attempt to destroy another's perception of reality." [3]