XABF tried to convince me that I was sexually abused as a child because I did not enjoy his porn DVDs, and did not talk dirty like the women in the films, and did not make it my entire goal in life to make him 100% happy without caring about myself.
He didn't use "gaslighting" as often as my mother, though... I thought I could finally have a relationship this weekend with her, until I tried to talk through a few things...
ME: Well, like the time I brought home my vocabulary test, I had a 98%, and you complained that I got one of the questions wrong, and it looked easy, I should have gotten that one right.
MOM: I did no such thing! You always pushed yourself very hard as a child, I was always telling you that you didn't have to work so hard. (Giant pause.) Well, what else?
ME: Um... I just always felt uncomfortable having feelings at home. I was afraid to tell you things, because you never really seemed to listen to understand what I was saying, and instead ran around telling everyone I said the opposite, or you'd make fun of me for how I felt...
MOM: That never happened. You always knew you could talk to me about things, you just preferred to spend all your time in your room reading. But you would have talked to me, if you wanted to talk! (Giant pause.) Anything else?
ME: No.
So. Now I know what not to talk about when I'm around her.
Gaslighting and quacking are similar, but different. I would say that gaslighting is a more serious form of quacking, while not all quacking is gaslighting. They are very close cousins, certainly.