jenny69

I have a very sweet and loving BF who is an alcoholic. He has never done anything abusive or angry and in many ways is the most loving person I've ever been with. But he's caught up in a very self-undermining pattern in his life and can't seem to find path to get a hold on his own life. He has tried to get sober for the past 2 years or so, going to AA and then relapsing, usually not telling me until it became too hard to hide. There have been a lot of problems with him hiding things and lying about drinking. My last relationship was filled with deception and now it triggers something very compulsive in me when people tell me things that don't feel right.

I know that there have to be consequences for actions. I need to draw the line and say: Enough! But i relate so much to being out of control and self-destructive. I empathize with his sadness and I feel a huge sense of loss. I am afraid of losing a person I am so close to. But in my mind, I know that this pattern will just continue and feel endangered by it (esp. as an Adult Child)

I have gone to Al-anon meetings but it's hard in that context to hear stories from people that relate specifically to my situation. How have other people created boundaries with someone who has only been kind and caring?