...it sounds like you are giving what I like to call healthy support of your alcoholic. Often on this site we encounter people whose idea of support is to try and participate or "adjust" the recovery process for others.
That said, I hope that whatever it is that is bothering you enough that you came to this site goes away (even if all it is is people continuing to tell you to work your own recovery, and which I think is a sign of something if many different people are saying it). I also hope that if you are not already happy and healthy that you find a way to be happy and healthy.
Also, if you think the people at an Alanon meeting are righteous, that is completely the opposite of my experience at over 800 meetings since 2003 (in many different places as I live in a big city). My experience with Alanon is that it is full of flawed people in deep pain who want to find a way to be happy, and want to share those ways with others. It is also full of flawed people no longer in pain and who have found ways to be happy and want to share those ways with others.
Either way it is full of flawed people. We all are. It's the human condition.
I think it's strange that's what you took away from Alanon.
Take care,
Cyranoak
P.s. You are recovering from living with and loving an alcoholic for many years. If you truly belove you were unaffected by this I simply don't know what to tell you.
Originally Posted by
nbunderstanding 
This is the exact reason why I cannot understand why people who are healthy and loving people would be involved with 12 step programs. It is not healthy to live soley for yourself. It is not a healthy marriage if you don't support healthy actions that your spouse is involved with.
I do support my husbands recovery efforts, that IS the right thing to do for your husband, as a wife. I did not say I took part in his recovery or forced him to do anything. I simply said I support HIS efforts. I do not hassle him when he is spending a lot of time at AA meetings and functions. I understand at this point he needs to go to meetings daily or even some days many meetings in a single day. I understand he needs to spend time working with his sponsor and working his steps. I support his effort in this.
The people who say work on your own recovery are either on this website or the staff in the rehab facility which directed that request to everyone in the family group.
What I still don't know is what I am recovering from?? My husband is recoverying from alcoholism and gambling.