Originally Posted by
blwninthewind 
Ok all went well.
Home from my mtg.
Had an issue at the mtg though.
the SAME person who he was speaking to on the phone yesterday pretty much told me I was WRONG. I WAS standing in the way of his sobriety and therfore he would DIE and it would be my fault.
ok...so not only was the problem solved...or at least we are making progress...but now I have an alnon/aa'r telling me we are doing it all wrong. I have NO right to expect my RAH to present and accounted for EVER...it was all about him, his sobriety. My boundaries don't matter. How I feel doesn't matter. Whether my kids are w/out their father ...doesn't matter. I'm afraid I lost my patience. She made me cry.
I told her she was out of her mind, in a very not nice way. She had no right to tell me how to work MY program, or what 'should' be acceptable to me. PERIOD. She wasn't living in my home or in my life therefore she didn't get to decide ANYTHING about me or my family and telling me otherwise was completely unacceptable.
She really pi##ed me off. Worse no one really said anything to her...but me.
I was very offended by the whole conversation.
Wow, I am really, really sorry and honestly, people like that are afraid to let your H live his own life so she needs to make it seem it's you who is possibly keeping him from recovery and act as though the "only" way to recover is 24:7 AA. Maybe that's what she needed but what works for one doesn't work for all.
I get really pi$$ed off when my H tells me that people at his meetings tell him similar things (these are the times when I am calling him out on the fact that he "uses" AA meetings at times as a way to escape reality. He talks the talk but doesn't walk the walk and wants to act as though drinking coffee and sitting in a room with others is all there is to recovery and as long as he sits there long enough he'll recover...
I don't know how much sense I am making but I can hear that woman's words and can only imagine how infuriating it must have been. In some ways it's not a lot different than trying to battle my enabling in laws who want to convince me that my H's lifestyle is fine and it's me who is the problem. Your H clearly told this woman what he wanted and she is not able to respect it. She needs him to do what she wants for God knows what reason and that right there shows that she is no closer to recovery than someone walking into AA for the first time.
I'm sorry you experienced that.
What was your H's response?