I'm headed to bed momentarily but I wanted to write to say that I read your post and felt like it was me a few months ago... The masking the smell, the being told you're imagining things, the hoping he'll get a DUI or something that will make him hit bottom etc...
My H has now been arrested (for assaulting me), admitted to his "masking the smell" tactics and is in a lot of legal trouble and absolutely nothing has changed with him as far as behavior except that he's gotten more vicious and nastier.
I've taken our kids and left him. Waiting for him to "get it" was just killing me and our kids.
I am sorry that you are going through all you are and I just recently joined SR but have already been helped so much and I hope you find the same...