I have a very good update. I think...lol.
we barely talked about what was said there or how we felt about it since that night.
until this weekend. I guess maybe 'processing'?
I don't know.
But he made a schedule!!!!!
That is HUGE!!!!
He is acknowledging that there IS a problem.
He's worked it out...his nights, my nights, OUR nights and FAMILY days (weekends except one mtg that we attend monthly together). There is time blocked for my alnon at which he will be responsible for everything (kids, dinner, dinner clean up, homework, getting kids to bed, any afterschool activity, even daycare pickup!)
THIS IS HUGE!!!!!!!
before everyday was his day....even if he was home it was to change clothes and go to a mtg or hang w/ AA buddy's.
Today is Mon....
so he reminded me that even though I'm on spring break ...he is coming right home after work and taking over so I can do my own thing.
The fact he's not saying "well it's spring break...your off all week...there's your time" is a MAJOR deal.
I finally feel like he's valuing MY feelings and my time...and how much he's been letting down his kids.
I told him that I would make the hamburgers, if he would cook them...we could make the sides together, eat as a family and then I'll go off to do my thing around 6:30.....because I do believe my kids need to not feel like they are just being shuffled btwn us..but we are actually all working together to BE a family.
I heard him on the phone yesterday...talking to an AA. Explaining in a nice way that he could not commit to something because due to our new family schedule the event they were talking about fell on 'my wife's night'.... I could hear some pressure about how he needs this and he has to put his sobriety first (person was LOUD on the phone)...and he replied "what good is my sobriety if I had to lose my family to get it, so NO I won't be attending, I'll see you on XXday though".
It made me proud.