I know they are all so crazy, and I am sorry that this occurred, but you do sound clear and committed to yourself and your kids.
This is good!
Keep on moving toward that freedom.
I feel lucky that my RAH family is not that riddled with denial.
They are tough and they are enabling him less and less, but I am still the bad guy, at least to BIL, who is a bully. I am so glad he hasnt come around.
You sound good, even though you are struggling.
Imagine all of us there with you, because we are!