wanttobehealthy...please give yourself a GIANT break. You couldn't have known that your STBXAH was going to bring in his enabling reinforcements over. It's VERY hard to stand up to an A, let alone to stand up to an A and his enabling toxic family.
From reading your responses, I think you did very well. You were bang on when you realized that *not* drinking for 5 weeks and lying *less* doesn't call for a parade. And you were perfectly right to indicate that no one else but your STBXAH is ruining his life. He is simply seeking to run and hide in his mommy skirts to escape the consequences of his actions.
Keep your eyes on that end goal of financial and legal freedom from him. You'll get there!