I am going through many similar discoveries as you in counseling.
I am also an ACoA. Although my last relationship with an alcoholic ended over 2 years ago, I had another relationship that was equally unhealthy. The counseling is helping me be a better parent and eventually be an equal partner in a healthy relationship.
Working through my history is hard, but so rewarding.
It sounds like you are already making choices that put you first. Congratulations! You can do it!