My story is a lot like ItsMeAlice's...but with a bit of a condensed timeline. I too decided separation was best and it was time to live my life away from addiction and craziness. I move out, and am purchasing my own home (also hoping to close in April). I am not pursuing a divorce and my RAH is in AA, but I have decided it will be some time before I'd be interested in living with him again, given the last four years and the person I became in that relationship. Like lillamy, I kept myself busy with the busy work on making the transition. I am slowly spending more time with the RAH (only if its pleasant, no more fighting) and he's being as open-minded as possible to our new living arrangements. I continue to go to Al-Anon and do my step work. And I just feel better overall, having made a choice to start living my life on my terms, instead of living his on his terms. I can't help but feel he likes me more now, too.