I totally feel like I've started over and it has been one crazy roller coaster ride.
When I finally accepted that separation from my EX was the only way to live without addiction in my life and to recover from my own codependent issues, I had to figure out where to go and what to do with my life. As I started that process I realized that much of what I still want out of life, I had wanted before I ever met my EX.
That's probably why I do feel like I've started over. My needs and wants for myself have never left me, I just let them take a backseat to my EX's addiction and his needs and wants, which is entirely part of my codependency.
My EX and I separated Aug 2009. I am still climbing towards my dreams. I am on the verge of achieving my monumental goal of owning my own home. Closing day is Apr 29th, but I do expect at least one delay before all is said and done.
While it's taken me a good while to get this far, as for how long it took me to start over, I think that actually happened the minute I made the decision to live my own life and stop living his. The rest has just been my journey down the new path.
Hope this helps answer your question.
Best to you!
Alice