Concentrate on treating yourself well. Eat healthfully, get a good amount of rest, get some sunshine. Remember HALT - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired. If you are any of those things then take care of them.
Pamper yourself a little with "girly" stuff - bubble baths, manicures, pedicures, a haircut, a quick facial if you can afford it. If not, make one from oatmeal and honey! Put cucumbers on your eyes. Listen to your favorite music.
Forgive yourself for being resentful but don't let resentments take over your life. You put a lot into your marriage without getting much in return. That hurts like hell.
I would also recommend - on top of anything by Melodie Beattie, naturally
- a book called "Succulent Wild Woman" by SARK. That book has gotten me a long way towards just being me.
Hope this helps. Learning to live without chaos takes just as much practice as living with it, sometimes. It is a learning process. It will get better with time!