Old 03-12-2011, 06:16 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
brokenheartfool
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 344
Well only you know (meaning not us) what you did at that wedding. I don't know how to judge its long-term affects.
I don't know your family nor you. Are you manipulative with your diseases? It doesn't sound so, so good there.
You paint yourself as being a level-headed compassionate person, so why do you think they don't open up to you?
They are from a different country--I don't know the country nor its cultural viewpoints on all of this. I am from Mi also though, so I do know that here we are generally accepting, and that the mental illness in my family is accepted, as well as alcoholism.

Families are quirky things.
There is something I have learned in life that is helping me more than any other thing I have ever learned. It is:
I will accept that others are different, not wish to change them, and not dwell on trying to understand those differences. It is the vast variety of people and viewpoints on the planet that make it interesting. I accept that I only control my own behavior, and need not fret about other's behaviors. I accept the love that is given me, but don't keep yearning for what is not given me, because I will only be disappointed. (That one I am still working on!) I don't have expectations of others, but accept who they are.

All of that releases the burden of control and manipulation and wanting others to "see things my way" which may never occur, and a good thing perhaps, as I don't wish to control other's minds.
I respect their uniqueness as I wish for them to respect mine.
So, perhaps, you might consider letting the wish that they give you what you want go? Then if it ever does happen, what a pleasant surprise it will be, as it won't be a desire you are trying to force upon them, and it won't be an expectation.
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