I have no idea if it is normal to "circle the wagons and exclude..." but boy does your family sound a lot like mine.... So to me, yes, that sounds normal... but is it normal? God no.
I am not an A myself (1 glass of wine and I'm ready for bed is the kind of drinker I am) and other than being the canary in the mineshaft as my therapist says, (I was the oldest in my family and the one who stupidly would say 'hey this doesn't seem okay' when abuse was happening to others even though I received most of the abuse and no one ever said a peep to help me) I never caused problems in my family... But despite that, I have experienced much the same treatment you describe-- no one asks how I am, family will be in town and "forget" to call me to get together with everyone else, I give and offer and extend time, money and energy without expecting anything in return BUT over time have recognized that there's never a thank you, and it's become expected that I do this for my family (siblings mostly) but it's never been reciprocated...
So, my guess is this: families like yours and mine and like this whether you're a saint or an axe murderer. You being an A and doing a handful of things through the years that upset family members is not the cause of their insane behavior. The way your family members behave is their issue. They clearly have issues of their own and you probably serve as a convenient way to displace their feelings that they'd rather not deal with... My siblings don't want to "betray" the family as I have so they keep up the story that we were this perfect family. In the meantime, every one of my siblings has MAJOR issues (and I clearly do too but relative to them I am the "normal" one). Anyway, because I am the one who has stood up and called people on their crappy behavior and set limits, I have become the black sheep of the family and when we are all together, ANY dysfunction that occurs or is felt is pinned on me. Of course that dysfunction is there whether I am present or not, but my presence gives everyone else the opportunity to pretend otherwise... It sounds to me like you have a very similar family.
It sounds like you've taken responsibility for your behaviors and how they impacted your family and clearly their issues are waaaaay deeper than you. It sucks to not have your family care, ask how you are, and outright exclude you. I guess what I've tried to tell myself lately is that just like I can't take my AH's behavior personally when he is drinking (or sober and still being an ass), I ought not take my family's behavior personally bc it's their issues that make them act out toward me just like my AH's issues make him treat me as he does...